Badass Bruschetta

A friend brought us a delicious, presumably vegan loaf of ciabatta last week. I say "presumably vegan" because Italian bakers traditionally make ciabatta with flour, water, salt, and yeast. Also, after bread shopping recently, I have come to view all storebought bread with a skeptical eye.

Don't write me off as a communist yet. My widespread-bread-panic started last week when I watched my friend Victoria eat the most beautiful sandwich I have seen in years: a marriage of hummus, avocado, red peppers, cucumbers, and lettuce. I ogled her lunch without shame, and the foodie in me said, "I'll have what she's having."

The supermarket had other plans. These plans thwarted my own. No matter how hard I tried, I could not find a single piece of bread fit for vegan consumption. Not even a crumb.

I read every single label of every single package of bread. Bread that didn't have eggs had honey; bread that didn't have eggs and honey had HFCS or added cane sugar (to which I refuse to condescend).

My Badass Bruschetta promises to give rise to a new obsession with vegan bread making. Check out my dips tonight and consider them a commercial for the "bread post" coming soon.

What you need to kick Badass Bruschetta Artichoke-Style:
1 can artichoke hearts, drained, and thoroughly rinsed
2 cloves garlic
6 basil leaves
4 sprigs parsley
juice of 1/2 lemon
1 tbsp olive oil

What to do:
Puree everything in a food processor or blender. Serve on toasted vegan bread. How easy is that?

What you need to kick Badass Bruschetta Ratatouille-Style:
1 eggplant, roasted, skinned, and chopped
1 package cherry tomatoes, roasted
1 red bell pepper, sliced into strips, and roasted
2 portabella mushrooms, sliced
1 large yellow squash, sliced
1 large zucchini, sliced
1 red onion, chopped
1 can diced tomatoes, organic and low sodium preferred
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 tbsp chopped fresh dill
1 tbsp chopped fresh parsley
1 tbsp olive oil
red wine, any kind, to taste

What to do:
Saute onions and garlic in olive oil over medium heat, add the mushrooms until reduced. Repeat with each vegetable individually in this order: squash, zuchinni, tomatoes, eggplant, red pepper. Add red wine (up to an entire bottle if you're a thrill seeker) and cook until reduced. Add diced tomatoes. Simmer all day. Ratatouille does not like to rush. Serve on toasted bread.

BTW: I love to serve this recipe with a pretty salad made of equal parts romaine or red leaf lettuce, spinach, radishes, and vidalia onions cut in thinly sliced rings. For dressing I offer the usual: lemon juice whisked with equal parts olive oil.